2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
