Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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