the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
