I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
