I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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