We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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