One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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