My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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