I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
