Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
