where am i from again
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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