So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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