i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just googled if crying burns calories
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I need moral support for this bender
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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