I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
