I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
