break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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