so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
