When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
