I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
