I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
