Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
