I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My bed is full of blood and feathers
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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