dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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