Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
