their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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