Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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