i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
