Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
