Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
