I wanna passion pit in your ass
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Drake has all the answers
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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