I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
