So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
