Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
