I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
