woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I seem to have left my pride at pride
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
