Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
