brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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