No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
