A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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