guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
