I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
