Buhtt sex?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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