Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
