Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
