I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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