I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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