when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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