Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We named our party play list daddy issues
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
