So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
