Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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