with your own penis?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
