booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
