then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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