heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
