No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
