I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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