omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
