Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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