talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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