She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
