he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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