So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When are your genitals available?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
